On July 4th, 2023, while most of my friends were celebrating a long weekend, I was in a hospital where one of my very dear childhood friends received a terminal cancer diagnosis. I am a problem solver; I solve problems. However, this was a problem I couldn't solve. I spent a couple of weeks pretending like maybe it wasn't a problem and that everything was going to be okay. There were also a lot of other things going on in my life at that time as well. And I reached a point where I couldn't breathe and couldn't stop crying. I couldn't even manage to cook dinner for my family. I didn't want to do the things I love, like playing baseball or golf. So, I took my own Pearl Performance advice:
- Rest is productive. For the first 2 weeks, I didn’t do anything, except cry, a lot. My husband and kids took care of all the household chores and I was able to truly rest.
- Outsource what you can. Through the magic of social media and pre-recorded content, I kept my social media accounts active, thanks to an amazing social media manager. I also hired a cleaner to clean our home and ask friends to help with my daughter.
- Give yourself grace. My grace affirmations: “I am strong. I am beautiful. I can do all of this. It is safe for me to be brave, to take risks, and to have fun.” I wrote these every day. They got me through. I am brave. It might have been risky to take time off, but it was what I needed. And Finally, this past weekend I had fun playing baseball! Now I know I am feeling better.
- Be gritty. My grit statement: “Faith over fear. I live my life freely and on my own terms. I spend the most time doing what I want to and love to do. I try new things. I am growing.” Even if what I wanted to do was lay in bed and cry, I did that. But I also signed up for a grief recovery program to learn something new, more about what I was going through. I was gritty with my time, stealing as much time for rest as I could.
I'm back now, and I want to be genuine and authentic. I want to share with all of you that I'm currently facing a very hard season with two very close people in my life who are seriously ill. I believe in what I teach my clients and while I would rather not be in this season, I am thankful for the opportunity to practice what I preach. Ultimately, I know that the Universe will only give me what I can handle, and I'm grateful to have tools and supporters to help me through.
If you’d like to listen to the video version of this blog, click here.
If you’d like help to formulate your own grit statement and grace affirmations, click here.